2014
It has been awhile since the last big blog post; life, death, depression, then movement, and stillness; you know, LIFE stuff. That whole moving in spirals thing. Prepare yourself for some ramblings.
The topic of moving forward in the present moment is one that is on my mind often. I find it important to always be practicing a balance of appreciation for the past, having an open heart and raw approach to the present and maintaining a keen eye directed at the horizon. I'm not always in balance, but even reminding myself of the vastness of being and the star stuff I'm made of, always takes back to the moment.
Among the many tasks at hand, I'm aiming to manage my time better. Lately it feels as though I'm consistently shoving tasks into small pockets of inappropriate time frames. I keep running into this situation of not having enough time for all that I am -and want- to be committed to. So, I amble through projects and to-do lists like a new born llama.
Like I mentioned; I had a fairly rough start to the year and I've come out of the first few months of 2014 a changed human, with a renewed motivation to dive into more and different creative projects. While I'm well past the winter's crushing stare and finding my stride in this slow starting spring, I still have questions. I have questions for myself about what it is I want to achieve by running a business, questions about whether appearing professional and acting professional are things I can even do. Ultimately, I can, but honestly-the business end of business makes me feel less than inspired, even discouraged. I hear echoes of "suck it up" and "really?" coming down the cavern walls....I certainly understand the reasoning for all the paperwork/trails, taxes, cost calculations, and so on; but it's not my favorite part. at. all.
But what's in the cards? when the other shoe drops, where will my already shoeless foot be standing? You know those questions you ask yourself? The ones you hold off on finding answers to because you're just not sure you're ready for the answers? It's time for answers.
What I want is to create spiritual tools that people use to nourish and empower their lives, to provide beauty and strength when there is a shortage, to give a voice when they don't have one. I want to be someone that people can trust to bring them gentle yet effective plant based spirit and body care. Care that begins from a place of ritual, a place of love and a firm stance in the present. I want to instigate passion and enthusiasm for the plant world by giving people access to every day magick.
It is not in my intention to push Branch & Beak forward into something it isn't or that it can't be. It is crucial to me that I live and work with integrity, so trying to turn the business into a money-making scheme or some shallow, gimmick driven success, isn't my priority or in my thoughts. Of course I want it to be a success and to sustain the business financially, I just don't want it to pass me on the highway with no hands on the wheel!
Why am I bringing this up? What does this mean for the business? Anything? I suppose that I'm pouring poorly shaped thoughts onto the very public blog of my website because I want people to know I'm human. There are many, many systems of efficiency and organization that I just flat out don't use. I'm not some mega-productive, ultra-poised human. With tendencies toward awkwardness and bad jokes that people don't get; I don't schmooze well, and I don't really like to. However, I do love to talk about what I create, why I create and all that surrounds the topic. I find that interesting, like when someone is describing to me a process they feel passionate about, their art or their interests; I like that! But what it really comes down to is promotion and networking, which is not my specialty. I really am a contradictory human; I can't be under the radar and in the public eye at the same time. That's just poppycock.
So why am I sharing this? let's just say it helps me personally, to clear these thoughts from my mind and get them out so that I can acknowledge them and better determine what needs to be done. A sorting system for the big thoughts. It's possible also, that people who 'follow' or have interest in Branch & Beak can gain insight into my process and why I do what I do by reading this blog. A Blorg! A blawhg. A Blerg. Bloog. Blauge.. such a terrible non-word....*sigh* and maybe someone out there has input? I'm open to it.
Branch & Beak, whether I'm ready or not, is growing. I've just got to keep up!
I'll be keeping it simpler from now on; blogs included! No more TLDR! I promise.
As always, there's more to wax on and off about but look where we are now; me shoving large tasks into small time frames. (I've been writing this blog for three months..) shhhh...
Please feel free to contact me via email or the form on the contact page if you have inquiries, suggestions, jokes, blessings, etc.
Cuttin' the blorg loose,
Sheena