It has been many moons since my last blog here; I feel terribly about it, but I do have my reasons; depression, uninspired phases, general life business. I have been filled with overwhelming emotions; fear, leading to reluctance to expand B&B, to promise my time and energy to anyone, and fits of doubt about where any of it is headed. It has been a problematic path, and I've reached a point that needs to be addressed, before I carry on down the road with Branch & Beak. Sidle up (yes, sidle.) and have a warm drink, I'm going to be revealing myself a little more...
Creating based on how much the art can be sold for is not my game, art for the sake of income is not and has never been a sole reason for me to make something. I'd say 99 % of my creating has been and ideally is because I MUST. I either have to release the vision from my heart/mind or I enjoy the physical movements involved in creating. It's become quite apparent though, that I am at a crossroads with my artistic self. I have an ever changing, multi-faceted, cosmically bewildered, artist's heart. Before Branch & Beak, I was a poet, a painter, a dancer, I was expressing myself in every way possible, with my clothes, my words, my hands. All of that feels stifled these days, limited. No real way to find out why or how this all began, but I am done with it. I do know the feeling was made worse by my inability to keep up with specifically posting and updating the instagram account for Branch & Beak, as silly as that may sound to you, as a business owner, it's like leaving a whole line of customers and interested parties out on the porch on a sweltering hot day with no water and little information about why they are even there. Weird metaphor, but that's how it makes me feel anyway.
Ultimately, I miss the me that didn't actually give any fucks about being in charge of something or being judged harshly for anything (I could never be a celebrity...) I forgot how to be a boss. I miss the me that just took risks when it felt right. There have been a few great leaps in my life, and I grew from each and every one of those risks in such significant ways. So, like everyone else, I'm traversing the monkey bars of life and I am ready to get to the next rung. But I need to first step back and look at what's missing, and to take action. Maybe I've just used up all my excuses, who knows, but the feeling is all old and stale and I am not interested in undervaluing my time or skills anymore.
Time to spring clean my spirit!
I have gone through this part before, and it is time again to make cuts; I will no longer be making certain items and I will only make certain other items upon request. In order for Branch & Beak to make sense, to thrive, and even flourish, I need to cut costs, discontinue things that don't sell or sell within their shelf life, and to make only things that feel magickal to me.
I know what some of you are thinking, this all sounds eerily familiar to previous blog posts from years past....like an echoing issue that I keep getting stuck on. Look, it's taking me awhile to get this business where I want it to be. Like I mentioned, I have a hard time being stuck in boxes; even if I put myself in them. I am surrounded by love and support, and wonderful help; but I need Branch & Beak to feel easier. It feels hard lately.
Here's another thing, right now I'm in the last stages of purchasing my first home with my partner; we are tying up loose ends, working, making things happen, and it's not about to slow down, this summer will prove to be one of the most chaotic and important summers of my entire life. I will officially be rooting myself into the Valley. It's terrifying, it's mind-blowing and exciting, it's huge. I've also been accepted as a vendor once again to Mutton & Mead festival, which is in June, which is when the closing of our home buying is slated to happen as well. This means I may take some time away from the internet and social medias to be a real human.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is, I need to ask for your patience, your support and your well-wishings, if you've got any left for me and my little business. I can't be anymore available than I am right now, but after this summer, I hope to be much more grounded, and clearer with how I feel about running Branch & Beak. Sometimes people have more than one dream, I have about twenty (thousand) and I want to live those dreams as much as I can before my time on earth is done. Clarity is what I crave, and I am determined to gain some.
The changes are not set in stone, but you can expect the following to happen:
No more perfumes (solid or oil) unless a special request is made, I'll be more than happy to make either single or tiny batches of someone's favorite perfume in solid or oil forms.
The perfume nixing does not include: As Above and So Below duo, Protection/Prosperity, Witches' Insight, Let Go Anointing oil, Quartz essence anointing oils, and Freya bath and body ritual oil.
Salts will be thinned out and re-worked.
I want to make room for the products that I have had on the side-lines for a LONG time now. I also want to leave myself room to experiment and change and rework and re-brand everything. I want to focus on my most popular products and infuse them with all the energy and magick that they and YOU as a customer, deserve!
That's pretty much it! The bulk of what will be discontinued is in the perfume category.
I'm a collector, of just about everything. I keep just below hoarder level, so don't worry about accidentally mummified cats hidden under my couch or anything, but because I love so many things (ie. crystals, bones, art, and plants) I surround myself with an array of these beautiful items, which meeeeeans that I need to simplify in other areas of my life in order to not feel claustrophobic or stagnant.
Alright. I feel like I'm forgetting to speak on something, but for now you get the point. I'll end this here with a thank you, for those who have supported me repeatedly as customers, family, loved ones, etc. I am humbled by the way this business has grown into a name that leaps off the tongues of so many wonderful people, all over the world. Here's to me creating space and boundaries so that I may say the name without buckling under it.
More updates soon.